written by Lynnea Bergstrom Common
Seattle, Washington
It seemed like a perfect opportunity for me to spend time with my Grandma Audrey while she was in town visiting our Seattle family. I had two tickets to the musical, Secondhand Lions*, a newly released musical modeled after the New Line Cinema Film by Tim McCanlies and book by Ruport Holmes. The story has been around for a while, but this was the first time either of us had experienced it.
I left behind a football-watching husband and my three kids age five and under. Attending the play already seemed like a well-deserved break and I was relieved once we were kid-free! Trading the stroller for a wheelchair, I made sure I knew when Grandma had last eaten and how she was feeling. I arranged our travel downtown considering the Seattle rain, traffic patterns, and the best route from parking garage to seats. Grandma and I shared some similar preferences. Both of us needed a quick bite to eat to hold us over, savored a reflective moment to read our programs, enjoyed time to chat, and indulged in an intermission that included coffee and a brownie. (I inherited her sweet tooth!)
After tackling our complicated travel logistics and texting a report home assuring our safe arrival, we settled into our plush seats in the theatre. The musical’s plot featured a young boy spending the summer with his formerly adventurous uncles. They weaved fabulously imaginative tales that the boy had to decide whether or not to believe. It was certainly apparent these older men still had some fight left in them! In the 5th Avenue Theatre version, the grumpy old men warmed up to the boy and eventually saved him from the threats of a local gang. They also taught him how to tend to the chores on the farm. Through these simple moments, they modeled what it means to be a man. They taught him what is important– such as believing that good always prevails and true love never dies.
The play elicited memories of my grandfather and prompted an opportunity to reminisce with my Grandma Audrey. We shared a rare moment remembering the sights and sounds of their former house in Westminster, Colorado. I learned that my Grandma’s fondest memories are the eight years she and my Grandpa Del lived in that modern style house. This pleased me since those are also my best memories of my Grandpa.
I can easily picture Grandpa sitting on the porch with Grandma. Even more vivid are my memories of him playing with me in the yard or making ice cream from scratch. It was such a peaceful place with very little room for busyness or stress. Grandma told me it was there they both enjoyed staying home together. They had retired from the jobs where they had worked for well over 20 years. Adult children had left home. Their house was orderly and there was a natural balance of chores and rest.
In the car ride home, I asked Grandma how she made decisions along the way –such as whether to stay home with her children or to return to work. She shared she had never worked with such little ones like mine at home. She did not indicate any concern or regret over her choices along the way. I think this is because she had her priorities straight, regardless of the balance of home and work. She married the love of her life, found meaning in the work that she did later in life, and today she continues to flourish with friendships, faith, and community many years after the passing of her significant other.
Different than the old men (the Secondhand Lions) in the play who despaired at having lost physical abilities, the chance for adventure, or the loss of a loved one, my Grandma shows bravery and strength in her second half of life.
Maybe when we have forgotten (or stopped listening to) our own mothers’ counsel, we will take a moment to learn from those who have gone before us. If that is no longer an option, we can pause and listen to our daughters. I didn’t realize how intricately connected the mother-daughter-grandmother-grandchild cycle of life was until I took a moment out of a busy month to slow down, leave the chores undone, and have a date with my grandma. I hope one day my daughter will take the time to do the same and learn the life lessons that her Grandma Leona has to share.
This Re-Ignite Guest Blog was written by Lynnea Common, adult daughter of Leona Bergstrom, granddaughter of Audrey Anderson and now mother of Maya (pictured above).
*Pictured at the top: Johnny Rabe, from left, Marc Jacoby and Gregg Edelman in “Secondhand Lions” at the 5th Avenue Theatre in Seattle. Photo taken by Tracy Martin and appeared in The Seattle Times, September 30, 2013..
